(no subject)

[surface_level]

Lucas continues to drag Liam until the door gets kicked shut behind them. It unfortunately looks like they've walked into one of the rooms at his local shelter, but there's a creaking spring bed, so it suits the purpose. If they even make it to the bed. He just drops Liam on the ground once they've reached the middle of the room and starts pacing in front of him, trying to work up some of his old anger. In a moment, maybe he'll remember Liam is there.

Comments

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"That is dangerous." He uses a cheap plastic lighter with a picture of a mountain on it to light his cigarette and then puts the pack and lighter back into his pocket, shifting to fit them into his pants. He pulls the cigarette away and breathes out smoke. "What is bad for one is good for another."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

Liam leans closer without even realizing, drawn to the smell of cigarette smoke. He always liked the smell, even if he didn't smoke himself. "'Cause it's usually bad, though. Even if someone says I'm hot, it's really only 'cause they wanna fuck me."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

He frowns at Liam. "That is because voicing such a thing is generally taken as invitation."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I know." Liam shrugs, leaning against Lucas's shoulder.

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

He exhales again, looking down at Liam curiously. "Your attractive qualities exist outside of sexual attempts."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

Liam laughs a little, flatly. "Yeah, right."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"You could not effectively do the work you choose to do if others did not find you attractive."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to just be 'Oh, I'd hit that' kind of hot."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"I did not realize there were kinds."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

"There are." He doesn't know why he's talking about this, he's sure Lucas doesn't care, but he murmurs anyway, "I just want to be called beautiful. Just once. Not sexy or hot or anything."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

Lucas flicks ash from his cigarette and looks at Liam blankly.

"Would it make you feel uncomfortable if I said it?"

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

"Depends." Liam looks down at his nails, scratching at the chipped blue polish. "Depends on if you meant it, or you just wanted to be nice."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"You are objectively beautiful. I do not say things just to be nice."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," he whispers, looking away to hide his blushing.

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"You are welcome." Lucas flicks his cigarette again and stares across the room, the ghosts of what went through his mind during still spinning there.

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

He knows he shouldn't ask, but he can't help it. "...Why did you cry? While we were..."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"It made me remember many things."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

"Oh. I'm sorry."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"Do not be. It was not your intention." He looks a bit surprised that Liam would even think to say that.

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

Liam shrugs, tracing his finger lightly over the ruined veins in Lucas's arm. "Yeah. But still."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

It makes him shiver, though he suppresses it quickly. He looks at Liam.

"... I have too many memories."

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

Liam nods, both in sympathy and empathy, distracting himself by lifting his shirt and examining the burn on his stomach.

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

"It is why I began to take my drugs." This is a good moment to pocket that money, now that he thinks about it.

[notsuitable.livejournal.com]

He examines his own unblemished arm thoughtfully. "I wanna try. Show me how."

[surface-level.livejournal.com]

He frowns. "Why?"